Monsters
by bluewingedkitty
Summary: From the author of Jeans and Frogs comes a new fluffy two-shot involving water, a young Iggy intent on murdering his family,a young homicidal Max intent on killing a young Iggy, and a teeny bit of Fax. Takes place three years before TAE.


**A/N So this is a continuation of the Frogs/ Jeans series. It's based on a line from the fifth book (does that sound familiar?), but I'm not telling you which one. :) **

**I actually wrote most of this a while back, and I just found it, finished it, and figured I'd post it. In my opinion, it's not too great but I decided I'd see what you thought anyways. **

**The sad thing about this story is that I have to acknowlege that MAX the book actually exsists. **

**Disclaimer: I'm not James Patterson, and am proud of that fact.**

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It was July, one of those muggy, humid days. Or nights, more accurately. It was night.

I was lying in my hot, sticky bed with my eyes closed. Not that it really mattered, I couldn't see anything anyways.

Anyways, I was bored. The window was opened letting the moist and....I'm running out of adjectives to describe the air. You get it. It was hot and humid and not fun. So, obviously, I couldn't sleep.

Especially because the air conditioning was broken.

So I got up to get a glass of water. In reality, I wanted to go outside and fly around, but Max and Jeb would have spazz attacks.

So I'd have to settle for the water. I got up, and walked down the hall to the kitchen. When people "get up for a glass of water", 99% of the time, they're actually just bored and need something to do. Once you get the water, though, that's it.

So after several seconds of listening to the water run ( I was bored, and it was soothing...what?) I finally got my water. I drank about three sips, decided it was too hot and dumped it out in the sink, listening to the pleasant sounds of water dripping down the drain. Then I got another glass, took another sip, decided I was bored, and tipped it into the sink, slowly, hearing the lovely metallic taps as the water droplets hit the sink. Fascinating. No, I don't have an obsession with water. Really, I don't. Why do you ask?

Then I decided to actually get my water. I went into the fridge, got three ice cubes, and clinked them into the glass one at a time...._clink_..._ clink.... clink_...

Just to let you know, I'm not normally like this. People do strange things when they can't sleep. Moving onwards...

I put the ice cube in, and filled up my glass, took a sip, decided it was _just right_ and ate it _all _up. Then, Goldilocks was tired, so--- Haha. Couldn't resist. By the way, no one in my family will eat porridge ever since the time Max decided to make porridge for Angel and Gazzy after they read that story. It was unspeakable. Looked like giant, green (yes, green. Or so I was told) boogies. Yum.

Anyways, I got the water, and I went back to my room, opening the door. Which was strange, because I definitely remembered closing it.

But that really didn't matter. I went back to my hot bed, not even getting under the covers. Because...y'know. It was hot.

I lay on the bed for about two minutes, feeling very wide awake. I grabbed my glass of water and chugged it. Then I lay back down.

This was pointless.

And now I had to go to the bathroom.

And I was still thirsty.

Sighing, I grabbed the empty water glass and stood up, when a moist and clammy hand wrapped around my ankle.

I'd love to tell you that I said something smooth and sarcastic, but no. I didn't. I don't really want to tell you what I did do, but if I don't, then Max will, and she'll embellish it a lot. Please bear in mind that I was ten. Well, okay. Eleven.

Okay. Fine. I screamed, lost my grip on my water glass, which flying, jumped up on my bed and grabbed a book.

You can all stop laughing now.

"AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHH!"

Then a little muffled voice said "Jeez, Iggy."

I stared at the spot where the voice had come from. "Gazzy?"

There were some thuds and then the sound of a little soon to be dead 6 year old standing up. "Wow..."he gasped, and started laughing. "I had no idea you could scream like that!"

"That was not funny," I growled. He continued to giggle.

"Did you think I was a monster or something? Oh, jeeeeeeez..."And he collapsed in a fit of laughing.

"You're laughing now, huh?" I said, chucking the book at him. He must have ducked, because I heard it hit the far wall. "See if you're laughing after _this!"_ I leaped off the bed and lunged for the Gasman. He squeaked, and scampered out....straight into someone.

"What is going on?"

Oh. "Hi, Max. Don't mind me, I'm just gonna go kill Gazzy..."I attempted to grab the child but Max shifted, allowing Gazzy to squeeze through. I tried to push past her, but she seized my arm.

"Wait a minute," she said in her bossy voice. "That was _you _screaming?"

My face flamed. "Possibly."

She started to snicker. "Really?"

I just glowered. Max really started laughing, actually leaning on me for support. "I--though it was---Angel, or---Nudge!"

I ducked under her and hurtled towards the sounds of a cachinnating four year old. "YOU...WILL...PAY!"

And then I ran into someone else. Dammit.

_Language, Iggy._

YOU AGREED TO WRITE THIS FOR ME, MAX. KEEP YOUR OBNOXIOUS COMMENTS TO YOURSELF.

_But inserting obnoxious comments into your story is just so much fun._

Stop. It.

_What?_

I can hear you typing.

_Trying to catch up on what you're saying._

Wait. Are you writing this down right now?

_...no._

Good.

So I ran into Nudge. Or, more accurately, I ran over Nudge, causing her to fall, then I tripped over her and I fell.

"Holy %*#(&%( #*&%) %&#*!!" I said.

_I'm not actually going to write down what you just said. _

Whatever.

So I was sprawled on the floor, next to a babbling Nudge. "Was that you screaming, Iggy? I guess it was, cause it wasn't me and it wasn't Nudge and it wasn't Max and it wasn't Fang so it was you, then. Jeez, what did Gazzy do? You looked like you were going to murder him."

"I _am _going to murder him," I growled, massaging my knee, which I had landed on.

"What's going on?" Fang sounded confused. I could only imagine what the scene looked like. Nudge on the floor, now giggling uncontrollably, me sitting up, rubbing my knee and looking homicidally somewhere towards vicinity of the kitchen where Gazzy was cackling happily, and Max by the door sounding like she about to die of laughter, probably clutching her stomach, because it sounded like she was closer to the ground.

Then a light bulb clicked in Fang's head. "That was you screaming just now, wasn't it, Ig."

I gave up denying it. "He was under my bed and he grabbed my ankle. What was I supposed to do? I wasn't expecting it..."

And then Mr. Emotional Brick Wall started laughing.

"EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP," Jeb roared.

And that was the end of that.

But I wasn't done by a long shot. Oh, no. Everyone in the flock, except Angel, who was still sleeping during that fiasco, was going to pay.

I had a plan.

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A/N Simon says press the review button.

**Simon says review. **

**BluewingedKitty**


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